Hello friends! It’s time once again for a chapter in my Fandom Food series where I recreate iconic geeky recipes from video games, movies, and my favorite fandoms. It’s my favorite way to cook! This time around is a real video game classic that inspired many an internet meme: the Portal cake. I promise, this cake isn’t a lie. Woo, old memes FTW.
This Portal cake recipe is a simple one, especially considering the complexity of the in-game recipe. But we’ll get to that later. For now, let’s compare the look of mine to the look of the original in the game.
Here’s the original from the game:
Is it close enough? If so, feel free to take this Portal cake recipe and whip it up for our own geektastic needs. I was actually inspired to create this after seeing this new game on my boyfriend’s shelf, Portal The Uncooperative Board Game. It had some super cute Portal cake game pieces in there.
1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut–pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
Fish-shaped solid waste
Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
1 cup lemon juice
Unsaturated polyester resin
Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yolks
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
1 cup granulated sugar
An entry called: “How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands”
2 cups rhubarb, sliced
2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb
1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
1 large rhubarb
1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
Adjustable aluminum head positioner
Slaughter electric needle injector
Cordless electric needle injector
Injector needle driver
Injector needle gun
Mmm cranial caps. WHEW. As you can see, this is clearly an inedible video game cake that we’ll just have to wing, ingredient-wise. The look of the cake was inspired by The Regent Bakery & Café, located in Redmond, WA, which is apparently not far from the Valve headquarters where the game was developed. It was a black forest cake (thus why there are cherries on top), but I’m making it a little simpler.
I went with a simple, but rich chocolate Devil’s Food cake base, vanilla frosting layers, chocolate frosting outside, with chocolate shavings. Then it’s topped with whipped cream and Maraschino cherries. Simple, but perfect for the birthday of your favorite video game geek or Portal fan.
Here are a few more geeky recipes to fill your arsenal for a kid’s party of for the fellow nerdy nerds in your life (myself included!):
- Conjured mana strudel from Warcraft
- Rustic honeyed chicken hand pies from Game of Thrones
- Gingerbread Wookiee cookies from Star Wars
- Harry Potter-inspired butterbeer cake
- Guardians of the Galaxy cake
- Harry Potter-inspired butterbeer
- Harry Potter-inspired pumpkin pasties (two ways!)
- Marbled dinosaur eggs from Jurassic Park
- 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, plus more for greasing the pans
- 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, plus more for pans
- 1/2 cup boiling water
- 2 1/4 cups sugar or granulated sugar substitute
- 1 Tbsp pure vanilla extract
- 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
- 3 cups sifted cake flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 ttsp salt
- 1 cup milk
- Chocolate and vanilla frosting of your choice (buttercream recipe here!)
- 2 (1.55-oz) chocolate bars, grated
- Maraschino cherries
- Whipped cream
- Preheat oven to 350 F. Butter three 8-inch round cake pans and dust bottoms and sides of pans with cocoa powder; tap out any excess. Sift cocoa into a medium bowl, and whisk in boiling water. Set aside to cool.
- In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter on low speed until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in sugar until light and fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes, scraping down sides. Beat in vanilla.
- Slowly add in lightly beated eggs, beating between each addition, scraping down the sides as needed.
- In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, and salt. Whisk milk into reserved cocoa mixture. With mixer on low speed, alternately add flour and cocoa mixtures to the batter.
- Divide batter evenly among the pans. Bake until a cake tester comes out clean, 35 to 45 minutes. Transfer layers to wire racks and let cool for 15 minutes. Turn out cakes, and return to racks, tops up, until completely cool.
- Place one cake layer on a serving platter; spread 1 1/2 cups vanilla frosting over the top. Add the second cake layer, and spread with another 1 1/2 cups vanilla frosting. Top with third cake layer. Cover outside of cake with 3 cups of the chocolate frosting.
- Sprinkle with chocolate shavings and top which dollops of whipped cream and cherries as shown.
If you make this recipe, share a photo and hashtag it #BIJOUXANDBITS. I’d love to see what you’re cooking!
Cake recipe adapted from Martha Stewart.